day pass

You know how if you're a parent, you always feel guilty? Sometimes the reason is definable. Like the time you didn't go to the grocery store and had to pack lunches with a can of corn and a power bar. Or the night you let them fall asleep to cartoons because you were too lazy to do the tuck-in routine. While it's nice to have something tangible to explain your feelings of parental insecurity, the origin of guilt is usually (for me anyway) indiscernible. Like air. You don't know where it comes from or why it's there. You just know that it always is. And so you get used to the subtle, underlying feeling that even though things seem okay, you're pretty sure you should be handling something differently, doing more, or at the very least baking something. You should always be baking something.  

And then The Rare Day comes. Unanticipated, right when you need it most, you are suddenly gifted with a day pass out of Guiltville, and into the town where suddenly you're SURE (despite the corn lunches and cartoon overdoses), that you are doing a bad ass job at this parenting thing thank you very much. Well Saturday was one of those days. There was a baseball game, two dance performances, a festival, and an end of the year team party. It was all very exhausting in the very best way.

Sidenote: For one day I was the mom who remembered bobby pins! Also, if you are always the mom who remembers bobby pins, you should know that it felt great to be you. 

I couldn't get enough of her bun. 

Watching the big kids perform.

Backstage.

I learned that both my girls have a "nervous face". Emily's lips stayed that way until she got off stage. Sweet little people learning how to be brave already.

Since most performances last all of four minutes, it was nice to have more fun stuff to do as well as burn off the anxiousness. 

Then the party afterward. There is so much I have to say about this, it could honestly be it's own blog post. Basically, this season is when I learned that sports are not stupid. It's like when I used to look at you dog people and wonder why in the world you would choose to bring MORE work into your lives just to what? Pet some fur? Then I met Doug and now can't imagine our family without him. 

While I'm not sure I'll ever go so far as to say I can't imagine my life without sports, I finally get why you guys love them so much. Beyond the fact that some of you think they're actually fun to play, sports really are microcosms for everything that happens to you in life. The strike outs, the occasional home run, the guy who's always better than you, the moments we're chosen, the moments we're side-lined, the personalities we must learn to play with if we want to be effective, the haters in the bleachers across from the friends and family cheering you on.

I'm not going to lie. This season was really hard for me, for Jason, and for Chance. Because none of us are sporty, and because we've been work-a-holics for the past seven years, we had a lot of catching up to do, and Chance struggled. I realized that I also had a lot of unresolved issues too. To the point that I could barely bring myself to the field to watch for most of the first half of the season. When you associate a place with pain, it's almost unbearable to see your child experiencing pain there too. 

But he didn't miss a single practice. He showed up. He pushed himself. He gave himself permission to suck. He got a lot better. And I couldn't be more proud. Will he play ball in college? Will he even care about baseball tomorrow? I have no idea, and could care less. But he learned some pretty amazing life lessons, and he learned them by playing baseball. Which means I guess I have to take back my snide opinions about it being "just a bunch of grown men chasing balls". Turns out it really is so much more. 

Comments

[Savvy in San Francisco]

I love this post and I ADORE the photos! What a crazy and fun filled day for all of you. I adore the bun! Don't forget to get Mommy in the pics too! Love you! - M

[Kal Barteski]

Beautiful... all of it.

[Jacqueline]

What a sweet post. Very genuine and honest. Your son sounds like he's getting some great experience through baseball (and you too!).

[Susana]

I am ear-to-ear on the ballerina bellies picture. I don't know how -- but you always turn the ordinary into extraordinary. Amazing, Maile.

[Sandee]

Having all my kiddos grown now, and survived the never-ending cavalcade of sports, sports clinics, sports team parties, I have to say I totally agree with you 100%. It isn't the winning, it's the character-building, the life lessons learned as they play. Especially, that most things are better when shared. Teamwork applies in all facets of life, ESPECIALLY the work place, and a kid that experiences that has all the advantage later on. Take it from my husband, who played competitive tennis: he realizes he missed out on the "team" experience after seeing all our kids gained by participating. So, pack that water bottle, and gear up for another season-it's the BEST. And it's over all too soon.

[Leisa Hammett]

Beautiful. The blog. The photos. The content in this post. Love it. Good work! You seem super cool.

[Khara Plicanic]

I adore this. I don't have any kiddos (yet), but my heart is resonating... :) Wish I could hug you through this screen. Ha!

[Helen Jane]

That ballerina bellies photo FLOORED me. What an eye.
And yes, I'm learning about this workaholism you speak of.
Can't wait to learn more about how you're beating it.

[Ma]

I was smiling... until that picture of Jason holding those pink roses... this burly-mahn, who hops into kayaks with his brother in-law...no food, no kindling... nada, puka, zip, zilch... and paddles miles northward to spend a half a week trying not to kill himself or Tom... This very guy... holding soft pink roses and so entirely proud of his little women. I love him.

Anyway, I read the rest of the post, smiling... through tears.

And baseball... is church.

Complete adoration,
Ma'

[xanthe]

oh maile, very touching & honest post, love you, sounds like it was a day you all needed. big love x.

[Tracy Wallace]

I enjoyed a free ride on your day pass. im sure you'll get many more. Susana is right-you make the ordinary extroadinary. Thanks for letting us peek into your life. :)

[tz]

The smile on Chance's face make the torture of sports so worth it.

[Megan]

Incredible post.

[jen]

I totally know what you mean.... I am always second guessing everything and thinking I am not a good enough mom. Glad you had a great day! Love the pics of your cutie pies! Happy thanksgiving!

[Jackie]

I think I can kind of relate to the mom with the bobby pins [I used to be a figure skater, and for the competitions, we used bobby pins, hair gell, hair spray, and everything you can imagine that was ever made for keeping the hair in the right place]

but, thats awesome! i love the pictures, they are adorable!