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Business In The Front is seeking help.

I had the best time in California visiting with Tara and Tracey. Will post more photos of that soon (pinky swear). I squeezed so much into the short visit, even watched the sunrise before my plane left in the morning. So by the time I got home I was exhausted. In fact, last night I was sure I'd be in bed well before the sun set.

Then I turned into a Mullet. While Business In The Front wanted nothing more than to take a bath, and sink into her bed for eighteen days, Party In The Back had a need to compulsively catch up on Teen Mom. Party In The Back had to see Farrah's psycho mother sporting her community service vest. Not to mention that what's her name was moving all the way to Nashville to be with the boy who has to be edited with sub-titles even though he's speaking in English. The never-had-a-girlfriend-before boy whose response to her question "Will you be there to help me with mah' baby?" was "How hawrd can it be?" 

And If you want to know how hard it can be, just ask the girls on The Bachelor Pad who retreated to their own respective closets to weep hysterically after The Truth Game. I can't remember their names either, but I'm pretty sure the guys are named Kyptyn, and the girls are Nikki. The contestants (I mean lovers) were asked to answer anonymous questions about each other. You know, like you do normally at a party when you want to emotionally bruise your guests for life. Nikki B. was reduced to tears when she found out that Kyptyn M. thought she would never get married. "You're just a party girl, what can I say?" were his words as she collapsed to the bathroom floor. But it was nothing compared to the dagger that pierced Nikki R.'s cilicone when she found out Kyptyn D. thought she had the WORST BOOB JOB IN THE HOUSE! I mean, by now there was no way Party In The Back was going to bed.

And it was all fine until it got sinister, when Party In The Back found Wardrobe 911. Have you been there? Don't go. I'm warning you, poor Business In The Front spent the entire night tied up in the basement (until FOUR-FORTY-FIVE AM PEOPLE), as Party In The Back became obsessed by the sudden need to find out What To Wear. And not just what to wear... what to wear to a dinner party, what to wear to work, what to wear to the beach, what to wear on a cruise, what to wear to a charity ball. Party In The Back has never been to, nor does she ever want to attend a golf tournament. But last night her life depended on knowing what to wear to one. And to a baby shower, to a doctor's appointment, to a high school reunion, to check the mail, to bake a cake, to drive a minivan, to brush your teeth, and most importantly what to wear when you are tying up your sensible alter ego who is moaning in pain from sleep deprivation.

The sad thing is that this morning, of course, Party In The Back could care less. She's still passed out on the floor naked (I guess all those wardrobe choices were just too much), while Business In Front is slamming back caffeine like nobody's business. Poor co-dependent Business In The Front. 

Also, believe it or not this was going to be a three sentence post. Before I got off on a tangent, I really logged in just to say, hey check it out, the amazing Davina Fear featured me in an interview on her blog to day for her Women and Business series! (Thank you Davina!) When she asked me to answer the questions and send in some photos, I stumbled on this one that I took last year for Eva and Tony Parker. This was the one they used for their Christmas card. She said I could display it. But I never did, because I hate my portrait site and was waiting until it gets re-done. And well, if I'm honest, that might not happen any time this year.

So, I thought I'd post it today. I love this photo, although I really can't take any credit for it. They are pretty much the easiest people in the world to photograph. 


Have a good day everyone! I'll be back with OC pics soon. 

Reader Comments (9)

you crack me up! this is funny. and congrats on the linkage, well worth every kind word! you rock, you really do.
September 2, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermeredith winn
i'm de-lurking to say how much i laughed at this. i'm totally thinking from now on in these terms when i watch that show and will laugh in the shower (that i will need after watching).

congrats on the interview - very real and warm.
September 2, 2010 | Unregistered Commentercharlane
you are too funny! ... wish i had a mac to see your pictures! :( love you
September 2, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterkelly
Saw Tara's sneak peek today......can't wait to see more!!
September 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJana Perenchio
I am rolling from laughing at this blog post. literally laughing out loud. and the sad thing it- I am caught up on every episode of both of those brain cell zapping shows.

still laughing

fyi- pic not showing up :(
September 3, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterhaley
I nearly spit out my coffee as I read your mullet analogy. Then your tangent on realty TV made me smitten with you!! You now have a new blog stalker!! :)
September 4, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterNichole

A perfect description of what I've gone through before...hilarious. Thanks for participating on Women and Business. The words you wrote remind me of living life fully.
September 4, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterdavina
Funny, Maile!!! The only lame shows I watch I watch on t.v. are those Bachelor Shows!. Can you say FAKE?!?! And now we find out all the girls had boob jobs.....haha. I really like it because I like Chris Harrison (he's from Dallas)...yeah, right. But I really do like him! :)
September 5, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterkat-in-texas
p.s. that's a gorgeous pic of your A-List couple!!!
September 5, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterkat-in-texas

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