Man-ssage
Thursday, July 8, 2010 at 09:19PM
Okay, for the record, this shot was totally in focus until I uploaded it here. And this has only been a problem since I purchased a mac. If any of you can help, I would greatly appreciate it. A while ago someone told me that once I go mac I will never go back. So far, I'm calling BS on that. This damn mac has caused me more problems in the last two months than my Dell did in seven years. No, my suit-ladened-tie-sporting Dell was not sexy. But at least I could find my pictures.
So, I'm taking an intermission on the Summer Recap because it annoys me to blog stuff that's so far in the past. Plus, I've always wanted to blog a trip in real time. So. Here it is. Here I Am. In Phoenix. In all my greasy haired glory. I arrived this afternoon and decided that I would take an hour break from my work-a-holic ways.
So I walk into the "spa" for a massage. Only to find out that "spa" meant "one old man, sporting an oil belt in a dimly lit room"
Me: "So, Jamie is a girl right?"
The receptionist: "No, Jamie is a man."
Me: "Oh. Um. Shoot. I usually request a woman. I've never had a man... I'm just not sure I could relax as much."
The receptionist: "Jamie is happily married with kids".
Oh, phew. So he's not going to try to elope with, or impregnate me.
Receptionist: increasingly irritated, "...he's like my brother"
Me: increasingly pressured, " ...Oh. Well then I'm sure it's okay.
*Sidenote: I totally get that I'm the freak in this scenario, and that I should be perfectly fine with a man-ssage.
And that's what I'm telling myself when he knocks on the door. Introduces himself with an overcompensatingly firm handshake. I realize he's old enough to be my dad. And now this is getting even weirder. So I close my eyes, pretend I'm somewhere else. And then I think how ironic that is. Because usually when I'm pretending to be somewhere else, I'm getting a massage. But this time I'm pretending that I'm floating high above the earth. Fully clothed. Wearing spanx. And a metal exoskeleton.
Then a few minutes passed. I managed to get over my neuroses. And at the end it felt a little like how one might feel after public speaking or cliff-diving. Happy you were brave enough to get through it, but glad it was over. And yes. That is called The Extreme Spa Experience. Go big or go home people.
Okay, so enough of my spa-ga. In case you're wondering why I'm really here, I'm working on a project with Promise, who is one of the most incredibly talented people I know. For real. If you've been to her site, you know this too. And if you haven't, go now. And grab a glass of wine because you'll be there a while. And as a huge bonus I also get to meet the amazing Melissa Jill. I've been stalking her blog for years! We've been trying to meet forever. And it finally worked out! I'm super excited, and will keep you posted with photos as soon as I can. That is, if my Diva Mac is in a good mood.
peace. xo
Reader Comments (5)
Phoenix! Wow. They carry sweaters in 115 degree heat there. It's true. They overcompensate indoors for what you'll face outdoors.
And for a really good time call Don who can slug down an entire bottle of wine, burp and fart simultaneously. Then scold little children for "being crude" for using toothpixs in a restaurant with mens ties and spider webs hanging from the ceiling.
Counting the days until we're all together!
Oh my gosh, Promise is amazing!!!!! Bookmarking her now. How have I never heard of her?! Can't wait to see what you 2 are up to.
(and i love my little dell. she is sexy in a librarian kind of way.)