So I've been stalking the dr.'s office to the point that they recognize my voice (if not my phone number). I'd say, "hi Bernice" and she'd say "nothing yet Maile." And I'd say, "Should I just wait on hold?" And she'd say, "Try back at 3:30." And so I'd call back precisely at three three oh and no seconds. My stomach would be flipping, and she'd say again, "Nothing yet, sorry." And my stomach would flip again just for good measure.
But this morning at 10:30 and no seconds she said the best word I have ever heard:
And I screamed and told Bernice that I loved her. And that if I ever have a fourth child it will be named 'Benign Bernice Wilson' even if it's a boy.
And then she went on to say: "Your margins were clear. No evidence of cancer in the lymph nodes. And the two other suspicious 'extractions' were benign".
If I don't make her words into a song, or a lullaby, or a top ten rap single, I might at least frame them up on the wall. You know, just for immediate perspective the next time I:
A. Want to join the Hare Krishna because of my excruciating tax bills.
B. Am cursing the messy house, and the to-do list.
C. Am whining about feeling fat.
D. Am not just generally aware of how much worse it could be.
And at the risk of sounding like I just won an academy award (even though it's how I feel)...I do want to thank everyone again. Because, I am so GRATEFUL. To GOD. To my incredible family, and especially to my mother in law who dropped everything to be here. For ALL the prayers, and thoughts, and well wishes. And to my friends, especially DD and Katy who held my hand (literally) through the surgery. And who made me laugh the whole way through. If there's one thing I realized throughout this process it's that, for whatever is wrong with the world; THE GOOD IN PEOPLE'S HEARTS IS OVERWHELMING. Just completely.
Love to you all. xo