I like going to the grocery store as much as I like getting a spinal tap. Sometimes Jason offers to go and it's heaven. But then there's always the price to pay (literally) when he comes home having spent $700 on four items. The contents of his field trip: a six pack of beer no one has ever heard of, some sort of chocolate that only he can find on his secret shelf, coffee that was harvested by hand in a small village off the slopes of Kilimanjaro, and gouda cheese. His precious, fancypants gouda cheese. It has become a running joke between us. I'd say, "Would you mind swinging by the store...but please no gouda ok?" And "gouda" stands for all the other Harry and David treats that he manages to find. So I'm not ungrateful, trust me. It's still almost worth the million dollar fee not to have to go. But this was the gouda today. He has apparently taken to buying fruit that comes with a name tag. First off, what IS this? And what am I supposed to do with it? I'm sure he paid at least $65 for this non-grapefruit, non-lime. The least I could do was take its picture.